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The New Dance of Commitment

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

~Peter F. Drucker

During the summer months, Paul and I were out one evening talking (Paul’s my husband for those who don’t know). During that conversation he said something to me and I could see how it ‘locked in’ for him. Within a few short weeks he had completely changed the trajectory of his life and what he was doing, and I knew that that moment he locked in was the tipping point for all the change he had manifested.

It’s awesome to see, that moment when someone commits themselves fully either to a course of action (that is what I want to do) or to the avoidance of further action (I refuse to do/be this anymore). Both are powerful forces of change once the commitment is made. I’ve known this commitment, have engaged in in many times and I have an inherent sense of the forces that come into play, momentum for lack of a better word, once that commitment is locked in.

As an aside, in case you’re not sure what I mean by locked in, it’s when the commitment is so fundamental, literally at the cellular level, that you can almost see the body shift in response to it. Whenever I’ve made an absolute commitment to something, or someone, it feels as if there’s a core of steel that locks into my spine and the rest of my body comes into alignment around it. You can also start to feel the first stirrings of Universal energies coming into alignment, like a shifting of the wind where all of the ingredients you need to make your commitment manifest start to show up in an astoundingly short period of time and you can even find yourself feeling like you’re riding the tide rather than in any way in control of the changes you’ve wrought.

Now I’ve decided to commit to something very important to me. However, as I started to marshal the energies to lock in around it, the process shifted on me and took me in a very different direction. I’ll try to explain what happened here, it’s still early days on this process for me, but I felt compelled to share it as I know the energy of 2012 is very momentum and movement oriented, hence many of you are getting ready to commit to things right now and I wanted you to have the option to try this approach:

The old way…

If you think back to the way you used to commit, as I’ve mentioned, it was very much self-powered. YOU made a decision, YOU locked in, essentially lighting the fuse for the momentum that would then carry you towards your committed path. All great and good, and the feeling you get from this process is very empowering. Make no mistake, using this approach, you were, in fact, creating shifts in the Universe to bring to you exactly what you’d committed to – the proof is in your results. However, I started to question a few things:

  • What if your approach was limiting. Was your commitment as ‘big’ as it could have been or was it merely a means to shift out of where you were into something different?
  • Using this approach, once you commit, you feel very much like a locomotive building and creating extraordinary momentum, but are you truly enjoying the ride or are you completely focused on the process of ‘getting there’, of seeing your commitment made manifest?

The new way…

Many of you reading this have been on your journey. You know, the journey that has fundamentally stripped away everything that you were to make room so you could step fully into everything you are meant to be, yeah…that journey. Not exactly fun (not even close), but I believe the brunt of it has passed. The ‘new you’ now has to learn some new tools and this Dance of Commitment is one of many you have the choice to embrace.

As a result of your journey you’re a different being. Literally. You are not what you were. You’ve embraced the idea that you are more. It’s time to start understanding what that means and to start actively embracing it. In this case, it means that you have a Universe full of energy at your disposal. Why not use it. It’s there, and it’s infinite. You can’t deplete it, in fact, the more you use it, the more you contribute to it. The Dance of Commitment, in a nutshell, is a conscious choice to leverage that power. Think of your emotions and body as a beacon rather than the tool.You have the ability to quickly and easily mobilize the energy of your commitment, but then, rather than depending solely on the energy you can personally generate, you’re actively sending the energy of your commitment out and literally permeating the air with your intent.

If you’re struggling a bit here with the difference between the two processes, here it is:

With the old approach you carried the load of powering the change you created.

With the new approach you are consciously allowing, and giving carte blanche power to, the Universe to carry the load of powering the change you are creating.

Which approach do you think is more powerful?

Which approach do you think might be a wee bit easier on you and your body?

You haven’t gone through this journey for the sole purpose to continue to suffer and ‘do it alone’. This tool provides you not only with ease of access to an infinite power source, but it also allows you to sit back, relax a bit, perhaps enjoy the journey???. The process of locking in, as empowering as it may be, is hard on the body. You’re literally holding the energy of your intended change inside of your physical body and building momentum from the inside out. With you engage in the Dance of Commitment with the Universe, you can allow your body to relax while the momentum is built by energies outside of you, that are actively working for you, based on your intention. Specifically, this means it does not require your active energy input beyond getting the commitment/intention out there. I’m calling it a Dance because you’re engaging in an actively intimate exchange of energy between you and the Universe. A Dance should be fun and engaging. It should allow you to get out of your head (ahem!) while at the same time trusting your partner to move with you through the intricate steps of your Dance (think flexibility on your part and being open to more). I think you’ll be amazed at what shows up!

Rather than describing my experience, I’m going to give you a bit of a step-by-step instead as it came to me that this is, in fact, a tool that we can choose to embrace, hence you should probably know how to use it.

I recommend being very comfortable and quiet for this process, ideally without interruption. Give yourself a good hour, though it won’t take quite that long.

  1. Be crystal clear. Make the essence (definition, decision, etc.) of the commitment absolute in your mind. Keeping it brief and high level is best, the less detail you provide around your commitment the more power you are giving to the Universal energies to deliver amazing miracles far beyond your imaginings. The more detail you get into, the more you restrict the possibilities. An example might be: “I can’t work here anymore.” Be careful not to get caught up in the how’s related to your commitment, avoid focusing on all of the details that will be related to it, and definitely do not think about any ramifications of the decision. If you’re at the commitment stage, all of that thinking has already been done to death. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
  2. Focus all of your emotional energy on making this commitment absolute. No back doors, no half-ways, no saying it but not really meaning it. If you’re still struggling with that, then you’re not even ready for Step 1. To focus your emotional energy, allow yourself to feel everything related to this commitment. In the case of ‘I can’t work here anymore’ allow every frustration, stress, unhappiness, misery, lost opportunity, etc. to build inside of you until you hit a culmination point. When you get to that point, where you feel as if you’re going to explode with it, then put every ounce of that energy into your commitment. Say it out loud: “I’M NOT WORKING HERE ANYMORE!!!” If your commitment is more along the lines of, “I want to move to another country”, then allow the feelings of excitement, adventure, trepidation, fear of the unknown to permeate your body, then do the same, “I WANT TO MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY!!!” (a quick note here – don’t get too caught up in the words want, can’t, etc. Yes, I know all about NLP, The Secret, etc. The energies of intention we’re working with here blow all of that stuff out of the water, so use the language and words that hold the most power for you!)
  3. Focus on shifting the energy outside of your body. When you say your commitment out loud you’ll start to notice a shift in the energies inside of you. Focus on sending the energy of your commitment outside of your body, rather than manipulating them within your body, which is what we used to do when we locked in (we sub-consciously marshaled that energy into a self-powered change agent). When I was making my commitment statement I found that the shift of energy outside of my body actually happened quite naturally, but then I was channeling the process the same time I was doing it, so I don’t want to put any expectations on how it will feel for you. Trust the process. Don’t judge the movement of the energy. For me it felt as if my entire body was saturated, right down to the cellular level, with the energy of the commitment, to the point where my body literally couldn’t contain any more of that energy and it started to permeate outside of my body in waves. These waves actually gained momentum rather than waning in strength the further they got from my body. Trust whatever happens to you – the magic is in your intention for the commitment, your body will do what it does, don’t judge it just because it doesn’t exactly match my description.

Now, just allow. I’ve been tapping into my commitment every day (for about a week so far) and I can still feel the power of it out there. It’s almost as if I can sense on the periphery that things are shifting to make room for me in my new reality, whatever that is. Yes, I’m still taking actual physical action related to my commitment, but I don’t feel ‘driven’, or focused to the exclusion of enjoying and trusting the process. Rather I feel supported, held and energized.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress…the proof, as always, is in the pudding:)

Enjoying the Journey! ~Trish

When Truth Resonates

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I absolutely love the community that is developing around The Question Journey. What I love about it is that I’ve decided to share my truth with you. Who I am, without positioning my life or experiences for optimum “effect”. I tell it like it is. Because one of the most powerful things I’ve learned in my journey is that when someone shares their truth it resonates with me- I feel that truth within me. Today’s blog is proof positive that that goes both ways. That when I share my truth with others, it resonates with them as well.

The following was sent to me by Marvin Double, who has been following my blog, Newsletters and Tweets. Marvin often sends me intriguing feedback, but this one touched something inside of me as I am sure it will for many. In order for this to really make sense, I’m including the original newsletter article I wrote:

February 18 Newsletter: Are You Open to Receiving?

When someone gives you a gift for no apparent reason – what is your initial reaction? Disbelief? Wonder? Amazement? Joy? Guilt?

Too often we do not even notice our initial reaction and within a nanosecond we use our habitual reaction – whatever that might be…”Oh no, I can’t accept that”, “What did I do to deserve this?”, “What for?”, “Why are you giving me this?” and of course, for those who actually do know how to receive, “Thank You”.

The more perceived value the gift has, the more difficulty we have in our ability to receive it unconditionally. And therein lies the crux – that word, “unconditional”.

How often have we been bribed, tied to another or otherwise emotionally blackmailed through the use of gifts? Or perhaps you never received them and have no point of reference on which to base your reaction other than it feels “uncomfortable”.

Regardless of how gifts are being offered to you, whether they carry an expectation on the part of the giver or not, if you receive them unconditionally, then that it is what it is – a gift, to you, for no other reason than that you are a child of the Universe and deserving of such. Enjoy it, allow yourself to experience the joy of feeling spoiled, treasure it and yeah, maybe even throw in a Universal Happy Dance! Tell the Universe you want more of it – because YOU deserve it! ~Trish

Marvin Double’s Response:

I just finished reading your newsletter for February 18, Are You Open To Receiving? This struck a cord with me so I felt compelled to make a comment.

I’m a baby boomer, born in 1950.  My parents, while not overtly religious were Baptists and clearly subscribed to the basic tenets of
Christianity.  In our home the principals embodied in the so called Golden Rule were very much in evidence.  Honesty and integrity were sacrosanct as was the more general concept of strength of character.

One of the more pervasive ideas, which is interwoven into this moral tapestry is the idea of self sacrifice.  The idea of thinking of others first or putting others before oneself was so much a part of my family culture that it became imprinted into ones subconscious.  This idea of giving to others was very much reinforced by a larger societal paradigm.

The concept of self sacrifice or putting others first was evident in such simple acts as, never taking the largest piece of cake, allowing
others to go through a door first and demonstrating ones moral certainty by being modest, retiring and self effacing.

All this comes to focus in the basic Christian theology that we are in fact imperfect having inherited so called “original sin”.  The subconscious message within that idea is, we are undeserving and ungrateful beings as a part of our basic nature. We can only fully
benefit from God’s love if we admit this and accept salvation. In the Baptist tradition this acknowledgment is made publicly through the ritual of baptism.

For some this social and religious foundation, illustrated by parents, teachers and civil leaders, can and often does create a high degree of uncertainty as to ones personal worth.  After all, the very idea that even God won’t love us if we don’t first admit we are flawed is a pretty powerful message.

When we are also told that self-sacrifice and putting others first is a way of gaining favor with others and God, the die is cast for many of us to go through life feeling undeserving.  One need not look beyond the example that, as we are told, Jesus died for our sins, to see how the idea of self-sacrifice is used to influence our thinking and behavior.

How many of us go to the grave thinking that we haven’t done enough for others to curry the favor of a righteous demanding and judgmental God?  How many of us live in the long shadow cast by a deep need for parental approval?

Little wonder then, that so many of us have trouble accepting the idea that happiness and abundance are in fact the natural order of things.  That accepting love as it manifests in different ways is not only OK but also part of the divine intention.

Many of us were raised in a culture of scarcity and fear. We are taught that we have no value aside from that which others bestow upon us; that we must know our place, mind our manners and never expect too much from life. It is ours then to strive and suffer and die in hope that we we be acknowledged for our humility and sacrifice.

Shifting from such thoughts into a mindset of universal love, a love which requires no such sacrifice, which need not be earned is not always easy.  You’re message is one which needs to be heard and taken directly to heart.  Thanks very much for putting it out there for all to see.

Namaste
Marvin Double

If you’d like to receive these newsletters, CLICK HERE to subscribe.

Enjoying the Journey! ~Trish

Lent 2010 with Guest Blogger Melanie Love!

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Last week marked the beginning of the season of Lent in the Christian world.  It is 40 days long, which represents Jesus’ 40 days in the desert where he contemplated and endured temptation before beginning his public ministry.  [note:  Lent is observed differently by different Christian traditions.  Not having been raised “in church” per se, I myself had to go to Old Faithful – Wikipedia – to get the details]

According to this story, Jesus went on a Question Journey of his own before stepping into his power and sharing his message for the world.

Our minister (who is fond of asking questions of us and questioning the text to imagine what the period of time in question was experiencing both politically and culturally) referred to the Gospel of Thomas as being a very different version of Jesus’ message, one that is still considered heretical by many as it isn’t in keeping with the orthodoxy of the church (i.e. the only way to heaven is through Jesus, etc.).  The Gospel of Thomas essential quotes Jesus as saying that God isn’t out there, it is inside us and all around us if we would only look to see.

I was asked by my minister to give a prayer in keeping with this theme.  What follows is my brief prayer for all those engaging in inner searching, contemplation and Question Journeys of their own.  May you experience the peace and light that deep personal awareness brings.

Heavenly Father/Universe (whatever works for you),
We are encouraged and admonished by Ghandi to be the change we wish to see.  In other words, the only way to change the world is to first change ourselves.

We pray for moments of reflection and insight so that we may look at ourselves with open yet compassionate eyes.

We ask for the courage to be deeply honest with ourselves for we cannot change what we do not see.

In seeing what we might call flaws, let us avoid judging these as imperfections and help us to simply accept the lessons that served our growth as human beings; and having learned and grown, simply let them fade into memory as we choose to step into the Light and towards the possibilities that the path of Love provides.

And as we look deep insight ourselves, help us to also see the good, the giving and the beautiful things that bring us ever closer to the Divine.

Amen.

From Guest Blogger Melanie Love!


Melanie and Trish at Melanie’s wedding February 14, 2009!

Enjoying the Journey! ~Trish

The Fears Behind the Fears

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So I shared my story about some of my underlying money fears in my previous posting. However, as it says on the back of my book, one of the goals of The Question Journey™ is to “discover the fears behind the fears so you can get unstuck and move forward.” So, here is an actual example of exactly what that means. In my last posting I had uncovered a worthiness issue around money; as in believing I was not worthy – if I hadn’t earned it or paid for it, I didn’t deserve it. This resulted from my conditioning as a child. However, as I found out later the same day I wrote the posting, that was no where near the end of the learning and it was only the first level of fear.

I received a call from my best friend and soul sister. She has been doing some tremendous work of her own in learning to listen to her heart and as she has learned to trust the messages she receives, she now finds it very easy to “read” other people; me in particular. As she was listening to me “tell my story”, she read me (in other words, she was looking at the messages behind what I was saying) and she received the message that I was not in alignment with my “abundance attractor”, that even though I had identified the unworthiness issue, there was a deeper disconnect that was preventing me from moving forward and seeing results from the work I have been doing. So, she kind of left me with that – at which point I was completely clueless and I’m thinking, “Good Lord! I stepped out of my corporate career to commit fully to doing the work I was meant to do. I’m committed, I’ve given 100%, I’ve learned to set my ego on the back burner, I’ve been humbled, the path has been nearly seamless as it should be when we’re in alignment with purpose – so why am I suffering? Am I supposed to suffer when I’m ‘on purpose’? What’s the deal! How much more suffering do I need to endure? How many more lessons do I need to learn? I’ve seen manifestation work in my life, I’m out there helping others to see it, I can’t possibly be wrong – COME ON!”

As I continued to stew in that continuous litany of self-absorbed ‘why me’s’ I decided to step off for a bit. So I read a little, had a snack and did a little work. Anything to take my mind off of trying to sort out my own crap. Well, of course, the Universe had other ideas. Just as I was about to go to bed, it hit me – just like another one of those 2X4′s! The message was very simple and very clear: “It is not your responsibility.” Ok, that was a bit shocking, if it’s not my responsibility, then who’s is it? So I decided to play with that for a while. I just laid there quietly and allowed myself to go into that message to see what showed up. WOW – the messages that came were unbelievable. So here’s what I got (the fears behind the fears if you will):

  • That because I had started earning money at such and early age and essentially been responsible for my own clothes, etc., then on to single mother status at 20 years old, then on to being the main income earner in our family…the mantle of “responsibility” was very heavy.
  • The Universe is totally abundant. By believing that ‘I’ was responsible for the financial livelihood of my family, I was excluding the Universe’s ability to hold that responsibility for me. Again with the arrogance – how can I possibly know all of the ways that abundance can come to me – by believing that it was all my responsibility, I was creating a very narrow pathway through which abundance could flow – a straw versus an ocean as it were.
  • That I needed to move away from being “Independent” and move into being “Intradependent” – that the more I engage with serving others the more I can receive from others – a win-win-win model for my life. It is not all about me (geez, where have I heard that before?)
  • That I needed to move away from simply “handing over” my problems to Spirit only when I became overwhelmed, and move into an unconditional trust that the Universe/Spirit will provide everything I need – always and without exception.

I know, some of you are reading this and you totally get it. Others are thinking – this woman’s smoking some funny drugs. But here’s the tactical reality of it. After coming to the above realizations and then consciously letting go of my ‘responsibility mantle’, the very next morning I received an invitation to coffee with a fabulous organization that wants to learn more about how we can find ways to integrate business, e-learning and spirituality; I received several book orders through our website; I received unexpected funds in my bank account; I had a fantastic radio interview; I received an unexpected endorsement for the book from a high profile personality – and all before 11am.

So, let’s look at this again:

The first layer of fear: unworthiness
Resulted from: conditioning as a child; you must pay for everything, you are not ‘worthy’ of simply receiving because you ‘are’.
The fear behind the fear: I am responsible for my family’s welfare – I must carry the weight of it – it is mine, and mine alone, to bear. By the way, I am sure my husband feels exactly the same way – how much damage do you think that much combined stress around the same issue does – and how much does that affect our ability to manifest, or more specifically, what are we manifesting as a result?
Resulted from: an unconscious result of the initial fear. My feeling of unworthiness and my conditioning caused me to become ‘very responsible’, first for myself, then for my son and finally for my family.

Allow yourself the gift of looking into your fears, then peeling back the layers to find the fears behind the fears. Identify them, acknowledge them and release them. The resulting flow will astound you.

Enjoying the Journey! ~Trish

Enjoying the Journey (not so much on this one – but the outcome was was totally worth it!)